I first met Shin when she was trying to figure out how to hold her ambition and her identity as a mother at the same time, as if the two were in competition and she had to choose. She came in the way many high-functioning women do: clear on what she had achieved, less clear […]

There are two moments when people finally stop ignoring what’s been building and start exploring coaching. One is when everything changes. The other is when nothing on the surface seems to change. The first is what I call a threshold moment. Something happened – a job change, a redundancy, a relationship ending, a baby arriving. […]

Someone asked me recently what makes for a meaningful life in the recent IG Q&A. I think most people, including myself, believe that meaning is something we need to find. The book I recommended in response was How to Live a Meaningful Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans – the Stanford duo behind the […]

That’s the thing nobody tells you about drift – it doesn’t feel like losing your way. It feels like a very full, very productive, completely reasonable life. 1. How It Started During my consulting and Google years, I had all the markers of someone who had figured it out. The career was moving. The work […]

When rest feels like falling behind. When a slower season feels like losing yourself. When a role change, a new chapter, a baby (yes, even the good things) can feel disorienting. What these things have in common is that they don’t come with a scoreboard that can tangibly be measured. And when your identity is […]

Overeating. Doomscrolling. Overworking until you disappear into the doing. Shutting down when it all becomes too much. Saying yes when every part of you means no. We call these bad habits or character flaws but I think there’s a more nuanced way to look at them: they’re survival strategies. Adaptations a nervous system made under […]

There’s a moment in every coaching relationship where you see it – that a-ha moment when someone realizes they’ve been operating on outdated software for years. 1. The Pattern I Keep Seeing I’ve lost count of how many high achievers sit across from me with the same presenting issue: “I always feel stressed and anxious. […]

These two books changed how I think about behavior change. Not just what to do, but how I think, and who I’m becoming which to me is the core concept of self-leadership. Most people try to fix their lives from the surface. But if your thinking stays the same, your patterns don’t. If you’re not […]
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