Building self-trust is one of the most common areas my clients and I work together on and also one of the most misunderstood.

We’ve been sold myths like ‘just be confident’ and ‘think positive.’

But those surface-level mantras don’t create lasting change because they don’t address what’s actually keeping you stuck.

I’m sharing Amanda’s story (with her permission, anonymously) because her journey illustrates what real transformation looks like – beyond the fluff.

How It Started

When Amanda first came to coaching, she was standing at a crossroad – unsure whether to stay in a job that had once felt promising, or to leave and start anew.

She had always been conscientious and hardworking – the kind of person who cared and thought deeply about doing things well.

But that same drive often turned inward, becoming self-criticism.

She described feeling “invisible” at work, like she had to fight to prove her worth yet never quite feeling seen. 

She told me, “I want to be someone who’s confident, structured, calm – someone I can trust.”

But beneath that desire was a deeper question:

“Can I really learn to believe in myself?”

1. Unmapping the Old Patterns

Before setting new goals, we spent time unmapping the beliefs that had kept her stuck — about success, belonging, and love.

We explored her habit of seeking reassurance from others, her fear of making the wrong choice, and how those patterns had shaped both her work and relationships.

We dug deep into where these beliefs came from, where she learnt them, what value they were bringing to her still and how she wanted to evolve them.

As she began to understand her inner world better, she also started reclaiming her agency, choosing not from fear, but from alignment.

She started journaling again, setting boundaries, and reminding herself: “I can make decisions that honour me.”

2. Rewriting the Narrative

As months passed, we continued to work consistently on her inner patterns and something in her shifted. At work, she began speaking up with clarity and composure. She approached opportunities with curiosity instead of anxiety, knowing her worth wasn’t defined by titles or approval.

Her perspective broadened and her inner vocabulary started expanding to include words like love, power, rest, resilience etc.

3. A New Beginning

Just months after wondering if she was “good enough” to find a better path, Amanda received an offer for a Senior Executive role at the salary she had bravely held her ground for.

When I asked how she felt about this decision, she smiled and said:

“It’ll be more demanding, but my growth will be in safe hands.”

🌿 Reflection

Working with Amanda was incredibly fulfilling because of the consistent effort she put into her self-work.

Her journey reminded me that self-trust isn’t something you’re born with – it’s something you can build over time.

I am incredibly excited to see how Amanda continues to grow this year and support in her new chapter and I hope her story inspires some of you who might have felt the same 🙂