Received a few questions on what I coach in the 1-1 coaching program and my approach so I decided to share more of an ongoing engagement (w permission, of course!)
To me, an issue in someone’s life manifests as a situation (e.g work, habits, relationship), that can always be linked back to something deeper related to beliefs and identity.
That’s the root of the issue and the depth I prefer to coach at because it results in more sustainable behavior change vs just solving things at the surface level.
Decided to share this journey of one of my coachees at the moment in case it’s useful to some 🙂
1) Client’s presenting issue
- Client experiences much work stress in the day to day, and realizes he takes it out on others in ways that he is not proud of
- Client started meditation practices and regular workouts but somehow feel like he is not able to keep up with his habits which makes him feel even more negative emotions consequently
- Decided to try coaching as he has tried many other ways before but did not see any success
- Very committed in ensuring that he is not sucked into work at the expense of his physical and mental health again
2) Client-specific challenges
- Client works in a top consulting firm and has little to no control over his schedule to the intense and client-centric nature of his job
- This unpredictability typically causes him to lose even more control of his habits due to the constant overseas engagements
- Additionally, his all-or-nothing and more self-critical thinking also made things worse as he would front-load a lot of things at the start and lose steam eventually
3) In the first session
- Helped him realize how him taking care of everyone but himself (e.g not setting the right boundaries etc), resulted in him taking on a lot of unnecessary stress alone
- This was worsened with him not having a productive outlet to relieve pressure, resulting in him engaging in behaviors he is not proud of
- We also uncovered how his high-achieving and all-or-nothing mindset became detrimental for him as ‘more was always never enough’ which thus left him constantly exhausted
4) Root cause analysis
- My philosophy for living intentionally starts with clarity on IDENTITY and understanding how certain beliefs we have held in the past still manifests detrimentally
- He resonated as a person who is KIND -> hence he felt the need to say yes to everyone who needs help, at the expense of himself which led to burnout and resentment
- He resonated as a person who is ACHIEVING -> hence he felt the need to be the best at everything, even at the things that do not really matter which led to much energy and time wastage
- Hence there was a pertinent need to challenge these assumptions and recalibrate them so that more productive actions that are aligned with his values + his best self can follow
5) My coaching approach
- Increase clarity of how the most ideal/best version of him would look like, what his core motivations + values are and why
- Increase awareness of what the shadow parts of him are, when they tend to surface and plans to address them when they show up as triggers
- Understand thought processes driving these behaviors
- Re-wire towards desired behaviors through intentional practice
- Establish sustainable systems to cement desired habits for consistency
- All to run in parallel to achieve both short and long term wins within the 6 months program. This includes expanding his capacity and resiliency to take on stress at peak load while increasing the baseline as well
6) My coaching program
- <For Clarity>: Bi-weekly coaching sessions to continually solve for root causes instead of symptoms
- <For Accountability> i) Weekly check-in on the systems we have set up for him to iterate and optimize, ii) Worksheets and templates to aid in habit tracking and reflection, iii) Readings or tools for inspiration and perspectives
- <For Additional Support> Text/email support for quick help and sharing of progress updates in between sessions
- Frequency is subjective by client, depending on context and needs
7) Resources / Trackers
8) Results thus far even though we are only at the beginning :,)
If you find that this program might be suitable for your season in life, head over here to find out more.
